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Being a mom is enough and I’m not sorry

January 26th, 2014 | by Amelia Hadley | Comments

mom and sonThis afternoon a friend emailed me a link to a blog post written by Rachel Marie Martin, a mom-blogger.

The post,  “Why being a mom is enough,” is a good reminder to moms who feel the monotony of the day-in-day-out like a weight on their shoulders. Sometimes, in the midst of laundry mountains, dirty bathrooms and dishes piled in the sink, it’s hard for moms to see the truth behind what their job really means.

It means we’re raising world-changers. Children who will become doctors and politicians, teachers and business owners, philanthropists and writers. Maybe our kids will grow up and work retail or flip burgers. Maybe they’ll be stay-at-home moms or dads. What they’ll do for an income matters far less than what they’ll do to make the world a better place. Those seeds are being planted right now, during their littlest years and when we feel like what we’re doing isn’t enough, we’re wrong.

Martin writes, “Don’t be weary, dear mother, in trying to keep up with a supermom agenda. There is no supermom, really – that whole supermom who has everything together is just a fallacy. There are real moms. Real, authentic moms who admit that they don’t have it all together but keep on fighting. Scared and tired moms who keep fighting. Moms who are overwhelmed by keeping up with littles all day long. Moms like you and me who sometimes feel lost in a world of outward accomplishments.”

Not 20 minutes after reading that blog, my husband called me over to his desk. He wanted me to read something. A blogger by the name of Amy Glass wrote a blog post called “I look down on young women with husbands and kids and I’m not sorry.” As I read it, I felt one thing for Glass. Pity.

She said, “You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.”

Wow.

There was a time when I would have been angered by such a sweeping — incorrect, in my opinion — statement. Not now though. Now I have too much to do.

In the last remaining hours of this day, I have to finish this piece, make school lunches and yes, fold laundry. Before tomorrow I need to clean out backpacks, make sure homework folders are where they’re supposed to be and mop the floor.

This week I’m volunteering at the kids’ school and driving them to and from golf lessons, ballet class and dentist appointments.

Moms around the world have their own versions of the exact same list. I know my packed schedule isn’t unique.

We don’t watch soap operas all day. We don’t only wear sweatpants. Women don’t choose to become moms because they have nothing better to do.

Glass may be able to grab a suitcase and jet off to some distant country at the drop of a hat, but I’m happy packing four kids and their school bags in our car and driving them two miles to school each day.

Being a mother is so, so hard. Of course Glass writes that it isn’t — she’s not a mom! She doesn’t know any different, or any better.

She doesn’t know that most moms would say their children are the thing that makes them exceptional women.

 

 

 

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